Islamic Parenting in Foreign Land/non-Muslim Country

by Noor Danish Ahrar Mundari

Noor Danish Ahrar Mundari is an Indian national doing Ph.D. in Space Technology from Kyushu Institute of Technology, Japan. Apart from his Research, he wishes to contribute exclusively for the development of People in general and Muslims in particular across the world in Scientific education, Cultural understanding and Understanding of ISLAM according to contemporary time

The socio- economic situation of the world is very dynamic and hence the topic of parenting too, which changes as quickly as society around us. Each child is different; each family and its challenges are different. This is one challenge, however, many of us are least prepared for.

The current bad shape of Muslims socio-economic-political-educational condition around the world is highly based on their misunderstanding or no knowledge of Qur’an, Science, Society, Responsibility, Duties, etc. These are being inherited to us from the Medieval era rulers and society; if we do not change the situation we will pass these to our future generations. Solutions of all these problems need good understanding of the changing world and parenting our children among the world best bright pillars of Islam. In the present world context, we have to decide what we want and how we will deliver these qualities to our children. The parents need to make a proper plan for the children, their siblings, their young friends/relative (from whom he learns basics of manners), early education, schooling and college education (from where he dreams of his role in society), society (to which he will be exposed), carrier - which a child will pursue. With current technological advancement the order of teaching/learning is changing. It is often seen that a child learn things from TV, Internet, online Games must faster and even earlier than he should be taught of these things/manners – which makes parents/relative to be surprised by themselves! However, the negative part is that children learn bad/unwanted things/manners too earlier even without the knowledge of parents/teachers. So, the parents need to decide how and when the child is exposed to technology for the best welfare for him in term of his Islamic and scientific growth.

A parent’s education, culture, religion and life style have a significant impact on a child. As for example, if the parents smoke than there is very high probability that the child will also smoke in adulthood. So many of these bad habits are inherited to our children. So it is the requirement of the parents to change in a positive manner, whom a child sees as supermodel in his early age. In fact, the level of self-confidence and self-respect is also transferred in the children from parents. It is also seen that in multicultural world, many Muslim brothers and sisters when migrated to other land, either they change them completely or sometimes they do not change at all. If they do not cope with the new environment they will feel more isolated in their new environment. However, when they completely change themselves according to the culture and religion of the new society, no care for Haram and Halal (prohibitions and permitted things of Islam), no flavor of Islam in their life, no self-confidence in them, the child will learn the new cultural values of the new land. He will be very much a part of this new society. So the parents need to understand what they want to inherit to the children. As for example, when many people come to Japan (an Industrially-developed country), they compare the good part of Japan, its industrial development and infrastructure, social security with the native land which falls far from the standard in Japan and hence they feel that it so nice to be in this new culture. However, by doing this they completely forget to understand the good part of their native society and the social and personal drawbacks of Japanese society (which is an industrially-developed society) such as high level of suicide, divorce, single motherhood, and uncontrolled sexual relations. This all should be addressed before you explore the possibilities of having children, what you are going to inherit to your children by being a Muslim parent. We should be always proud of the society/religion which we follow with strong respect for all other society/religion which is followed by other members of the society. We should teach the children about every society/religion but before doing so, let children have proper understanding of Islam first. If he/she understands Islam properly, he/she will respect all other religions/societies. By following a democratic manner in family, by giving effective duty and rights to everyone, one can teach the children how to be polite and careful for all the concerned people around him. I would like to finish with a prayer to Allah, ‘O Allah! Bless us to be good parents to our children and give us ability to guide them among strong pillar of Islam’.